It's a girl!

It's true, we are pregnant!  5 months pregnant as a matter of fact!  Now that I look like I am smuggling a bowling ball, we had to come clean.  How did this happen??
Well, lets start from the beginning.  Bill and I decided we would try one time.  Yeah, that's right, ONE time.  Within 2 weeks I was bent over with my head buried in the toilet on a Sunday morning.  Jackson was very concerned Mommy had a 'hurt belly', and I was starting to wonder 'what the heck'.  Bill was mainly offended that I had puked up the breakfast he made (and have done the same several times since).
So a couple of weeks later I was in Texas with work and decided to pick up a $1 pregnancy test from the Dollar Tree.  I actually felt a little silly being a 39 year old woman and asking the 19 year old at the counter to unlock the secret cabinet so I could buy one.  Keeping it classy, I went from the Dollar Tree to DQ and took a quick test.  For some reason that week, I wanted to eat nothing but chocolate dipped cones from DQ so it seems appropriate.  Anyway, the test showed a positive.  REALLY?  Wow.  I took a picture of the test and texted it to Bill immediately.  No candle lit dinners or sunset walks on the beach to announce the news for this family!  His response was something like "wow", then something like "really"?
After that, it was a series of weekly visits to my lady doc. She was skeptical so she kept making me come back week after week to make sure there was still a heartbeat.  My labs were suspect, so I just kept on going.  Finally, I asked for a referral to an OBGYN (she doesn't deliver babies), so she sent me to a lady in town that had the attention span of a 2 year old all jacked up on Mt Dew.  She didn't weight me, take my blood pressure, answer questions or do follow up blood work, which all seemed wacky given the dip in my levels.  After much research, I chose my own practice and am happy there.
Bill and Jack went with me to one of my appointments and they saw a heartbeat.  Jackson just thought they were looking at my belly because I had had surgery a few months before, he didn't know what he was seeing.  He did think it was super cool though.
Since I am over 35,  they gave me the option to do advanced aging tests.  Mt Dew doctor said I had to do them, and I didn't have a choice.  This practice gave me the choice.  Bill and I decided to do it, because they do a really thorough ultrasound and I didn't want to miss the opportunity to see a heartbeat.  We also wanted to know what to prepare for.  All the tests came back favorable, we were both surprised and happy.
We decided to tell Jackson at about the 4 month mark.  The conversations with him make everything worth it and bring me so much joy.  This child is hilarious.  Prior to us telling him, here are some comments (he was on to me).

• Pulling up my shirt in Kohls and announcing "WOW Mommy, your belly is HUGE".
• "Mommy, either you are eating too much or you have a baby in your belly...which is it?"

When we told Jackson, we wanted to try to make it special, here is the conversation:
Us - Jackson we have a surprise for you.
J - What is the surprise
Us - Feel my belly, there is a baby in there
J - Really?
Us - Yeah, you are going to be a big brother
J - Wow
J - Now what is the surprise
Us - That IS the surprise
J - Oh

Since that night, there have been a lot of questions an comments.

• How will the baby come out of there?
• Will the baby try to go back in there after he is out?
• Will it have teeth, and will it bite me?
• Will it talk?
• What will it say?
• Can I teach it how to play Hockey?
• Can I name it Fireman Sam?
• I will teach it how to walk.
• I am saving my Halloween candy for it
• What is the baby doing right now?

He has been both apprehensive and excited, but is looking forward to being a big brother.  Personally, I have really suffered with extreme guilt over the pregnancy.  It is difficult to even write about it.  We have been considering fostering or adopting again for some time (which I would still like to do), but we can't afford to adopt.  Plain and simple.  I don't want Jackson to ever feel like he is different, unless the 'different' means the most special kid in the entire world...because he is.  I have finally been able to get a grip on reality and have calmed down significantly.  Although it is still my priority to make sure Jackson always feels like my #1 big boy and to teach and show him how absolutely wonderful he is and how lucky we are to have come together as a family and be his Mommy and Daddy.  Okay, I am tearing up...pregnancy hormones!!!
In the next couple months, we will register.  Jackson will be able to choose the bedroom decor and a bunch of other things, if he is interested.  He has changed the name from "Firemen Sam" to "Princess Fireman Sam" so something tells me that she will have a fireman themed room!  Ha!