There are a couple different adoption groups on yahoo that provide a wealth of information. One of the groups is regarding fundraising necessities and techniques. Fundraising is an essential part of the adoption process due to the fees and costs associated with it. Today a lady posted a comment that evoked a lot of emotion that I thought I would share. Here is her post:
An old man at the dog park said a few rude things to me today. He asked why we are adopting when we "can't afford it?" I explained we can afford to support and raise another child but we need help paying the fees. He said, "You have a child already, why do you need another?". I said we don't need another, we want to raise another child for the joy of it. He then said, I want a house in Hawaii for the joy of it but he can;t afford it, so he won't buy one. I just walked away. On my way home I had a chat with God and he reminded that he called me to adopt, his wisdom is not like the world's, he is bringing our child home according to his plan. I have known this man for a little while and I know this man places little value in the things I hold dear and that he is a bit of a curmudgeon. He needs pity and grace not my anger and judgment. But I still feel a little mad and a little hurt.
Here are some tidbits of the posts that followed:
It happens all the time. Most people don't get it.There is a difference between a house and a child. A child is a soul, irreplaceable and created by God. A house doesn't hug you back.
For our first adoption I had a woman say, "Why on earth would you PAY for a child when you can simply HAVE another?" My non-Christian thought is this: PEOPLE ARE STUPID. My Christian response is that I need to extend grace even when it is undeserved.
I get so frustrated that as time goes on, LIFE has less and less of a priority in our society. A child is priceless.
Some people can be uninformed. There are 60 scriptures telling us to care for orphans. For some, that means adoption, for others, missions trips, etc.
The reason I post this discussion, is because I understand both points of view. I do understand where the old man is coming from, but I also agree that life has less and less value in our society. A child is priceless. If someone can spend $50K on a nice car, and this is more important to them than paying adoption fees - that that's okay. I do feel like education is of the utmost importance and is the main reason we started the blog. All I ask, is before you make comments that could be hurtful to adoptive parents, educate yourself first. Many things that are said are hurtful and potentially rude. Bill and I both enjoy answering questions about this process, although I have to admit at times I am very sensitive and get offended by judgement.